Chapter 104 — Xingzi: Always Misjudged

Edited by DancingDolphinsYo

The date of the appointment with Bai Shaochang quickly arrived. There was a heavy snowfall the night before, and everything was white and silver. Even when Yan Wenxin was about to leave his house, the snow had yet to stop, and the goosefeather-like snowflakes quickly gathered in thick layers on his umbrella.

Walking from the entrance of the alley to the Bai residence, Yan Wenxin’s shoes got a little wet. With an unhappy expression, he stood under the eaves and closed his umbrella, straightening his clothes out before knocking on the door.

Silence reigned for a moment, and the woven bamboo door was slowly pulled open. Bai Shaochang had a cloak around him, his face pale as he stood behind the door. Only when he saw Yan Wenxin did he then reveal a small smile.

“Yan-daren.” Bai Shaochang took half a step back so as to let Yan Wenxin in.

“Bai-gongzi.” Yan Wenxin cupped his hands together. He looked into the residence, and only the footsteps of Bai Shaochang alone could be seen in the snow. “I’m disturbing you.”

“It’s no disturbance.” Bai Shaochang shook his head. He too looked behind Yan Wenxin. Upon noticing that he did not bring anyone along with him, he seemed a little puzzled.

“Since I’m here to listen to Bai-gongzi playing the qin, there’s no need for too many unnecessary people to disturb your peace,” Yan Wenxin explained considerately, before walking through the doorway.

“Yan-daren is very thoughtful.” Bai Shaochang smiled shyly. When the door closed, he turned around abruptly and threw himself into Yan Wenxin’s arms, his pale face nuzzling into the older man’s chest sentimentally.

Yan Wenxin hurriedly reached out, wrapping his arms around him. With great tenderness, he patted the young man’s slender back. “Ai, I’ve missed you too.”

Bai Shaochang did not reply, only hugging Yan Wenxin tightly with his thin arms, like a fledgling swallow flying back to its nest.

“I’m the one who has let you down, to let you endure such hardship for so many days in the Lord Protector’s estate.” The snow was still drifting through the air. In the blink of an eye, a thin layer of snow gathered on their shoulders. However, Yan Wenxin seemed completely unbothered, gently coaxing the man in his arms.

“I was willing.” Bai Shaochang answered, muffled. All he could smell was the scent of Yan Wenxin, a light and elegant scent that had traces of paper and ink. Despite feeling a little cold from the snow, his every breath was warm.

“I’ve made you suffer,” Yan Wenxin sighed as he tightened his embrace a little. Considerately, he helped the younger man brush away the snow in his hair, so as to prevent it from melting then refreezing. “The snow is too heavy, let’s go in first.”

“Mn…” Bai Shaochang seemed a little unwilling. He could not help but nuzzle into Yan Wenxin’s chest again, before pulling himself away reluctantly, taking the initiative to hold Yan Wenxin’s hand in affection.

Bai Shaochang’s openness left Yan Wenxin a little startled. In the past, this youth, who was as gentle as jade, had always been very reserved. Despite the two of them having already exchanged love tokens, he had never expressed an overly passionate action. Even with the occasional act of handholding, Bai Shaochang had only dared do it in his own courtyard.

Still, in spite of his puzzlement, Yan Wenxin thought that perhaps it had been too long since he met Bai Shaochang, and the young man had been missing him too much.

At the end of the day, no matter how reserved Bai Shaochang was, he was still a youth in his early stage of life. It was not going overboard for him to show such intimacy after not seeing each other for so many months.

Allowing Bai Shaochang to hold his hand and walk into the residence, Yan Wenxin held up his umbrella to shelter them both, not forgetting to say some honeyed words of affection to comfort the younger man. Bai Shaochang would periodically look up and glance at him. His originally pale face had a slight trace of red on it, and his actions too became a little stiff. Yan Wenxin could not help but laugh secretly in his heart. Bai Shaochang had always been easy to coax.

Old Master Bai did not seem to be at home. During such a snowy day, the Emperor liked to admire the snow and the music of the qin simultaneously, and it was likely that he had long sent people over to bring Old Master Bai into the palace to play the qin. The Bai residence had few servants and their training was strict. Right now, it seemed as though they had vanished into the snow, and it felt as though there was no one around but them.

Bai Shaochang did not lead Yan Wenxin towards the place where he normally played the qin, but to the little yard where he stayed. Other than his own footprints, the snowy ground was completely unmarked. However, Yan Wenxin swiftly came to a stop. He stared at the footprints that had been covered under a thin layer of new snow, an inexplicable hesitancy rising within him.

This hesitancy was mixed with caution and a sense of unease. The little picturesque yard somehow exuded a piercing chill.

“Zaizong-gege?” Seeing him stop, Bai Shaochang looked at him in incomprehension. His hand, holding onto Yan Wenxin’s, tightened.

“Hmm?” Yan Wenxin managed to drag his attention back. Gently, he smiled at the youth, imperceptibly observing the expression of the person in front of him.

Bai Shaochang’s face had paled by a few more degrees. Unable to hold his eyes for too long, he shifted his gaze away. Under his cloak, his shoulders trembled, and it looked like he was chilled.

Being so sharp, how could Yan Wenxin not see through him? Bai Shaochang was not trembling from the cold, but from fear. What was he fearful about? Yan Wenxin now understood why he was feeling so uneasy.

That series of footsteps had clearly been made by Bai Shaochang not too long ago. Hence, that was why it was still very distinct, and yet to be completely concealed by the big and fluffy snowflakes.

That meant that after he knocked on the door of the Bai residence, Bai Shaochang then left his room, walking out to open the door for him. Although the Bai residence was not big, it was also not small. It would be difficult for Bai Shaochang to hear the knocks from his room. If he had really instructed his servants to not open the door, but to inform him when there was a knock, there should be at least one or two more sets of footprints in the snow.

But now, other than the lonely set of footprints in the snow, there was no trace of anything else.

If Bai Shaochang could not wait to see him, and so was waiting near the door, this set of footprints should be barely visible.

“You have other guests?” Yan Wenxin lowered his eyelids, his question extremely gentle. However, Bai Shaochang shuddered, turning his head away and refusing to look at him, not giving a response.

“Is it people from the Lord Protector’s estate?” Yan Wenxin laughed.

“No…” Bai Shaochang gave him a swift glance, his eyes reddening. “You… you said, that perfume sachet… Your mother really wouldn’t mind that I’m a man?”

The perfume sachet? Yan Wenxin pulled his hand away, and Bai Shaochang hurriedly tried to grab it back. However, it had already cupped his cheek, caressing it gently as though it was holding on to the world’s greatest treasure.

“Why would she mind? That was the only keepsake my mother left me with, and I only want to give it to you.” Yan Wenxin brushed away the snowflakes on Bai Shaochang’s eyelashes. The snow melted into water, blurring the youth’s vision.

“You said, the plum blossom represents a scholarly integrity, and that bird is your mother’s…” Bai Shaochang murmured, as though he was in a dream.

“Yes.”

“You said, your mother had used her last bits of strength and embroidered it for you before she passed away. Even if she wasn’t around, she would forever be by your side…” Bai Shaochang spoke again, his voice trembling slightly. His eyes were clouded, and he was almost about to cry.

“Yes.” Yan Wenxin was still smiling, stroking the corners of his eyes as though his heart was aching.

“I believe you, I believe you…” As Bai Shaochang blinked, tears rolled down his face. They were cold and icy, painful and itchy. However, he could not control them, and he cried, “You said that once your youngest child is married, you’ll be able to keep me company for the rest of my life. You said that you hold no love for your wife, and there’s only respect. You said, in the past, the Yue family had guided and supported you, and even when you’re now the Minister of State Affairs, you cannot break your bonds so easily, otherwise, your reputation would be ruined… I’m willing to wait for you, wait for your youngest child to get married, wait for you to leave the court…”

“I understand. You’re so lovely, and I truly hold affections for you…” Yan Wenxin’s thumb brushed past Bai Shaochang’s lips, and the youth shut his eyes in despair.

“Then, why is there a second perfume sachet?” Bai Shaochang had thought that he would not be able to ask this question. Never did he expect that it would slip so easily out of his mouth.

His nose was red from crying, and the tear tracks on his face smarted from the wind and snow. Yet, he could not stop crying. Despite his heart being as resolute as Yan Wenxin, a trace of true heartache could not stop welling up within it.

“It was Wu Xingzi who told you?” To be able to stand at the top of the court, to become a greatly trusted adviser to the Emperor, Yan Wenxin did not rely on the power of the Yue family, but his brains. Seeing everything in front of him, what else could he not understand? Just thinking about it a little, he could pretty much understand the whole situation.

Giving a low chuckle, a myriad of feelings rose within him.

All this while, he had been beating up geese. Now, he had been pecked by one in the eye. Things were just like that.

Bai Shaochang looked at him, astonished. He clearly did not expect that Yan Wenxin would make such an accurate guess. At the same time, the door to the room in front of them had already been pushed open. A tall man led a thin, middle-aged man, slowly walking out. The two people had their hands clasped tightly together, and the tall one was still worried, bowing his head and tugging the collar of the middle-aged man close. Only when he confirmed that the latter would not be chilled, did he then look up and gaze at Yan Wenxin coldly.

“The son of the Lord Protector, it’s been a while.” Yan Wenxin gave Guan Shanjin an appropriate smile, as though there was no tension brewing between the two of them, and that they only happened to come across each other on the streets.

“Yan-daren.” Guan Shanjin’s lips curved in a faint smile, not surprised by how calm the other person was. “I do like talking to clever people, please! The snow is getting heavier, and the Emperor has warmed up the place, waiting for us to go over. Don’t let the elderly wait too long.”

“The Emperor… I see.” Yan Wenxin laughed as he shook his head, then followed it with a sigh. “I’m truly getting old in age. Thinking carefully now, the Emperor’s every action had been a warning, but I’ve been careless.”

Yes, the Emperor had always held great trust in the Lord Protector’s estate, and he had watched Guan Shanjin grow up. With the Lord Protector’s absolute loyalty, the Emperor should not be that biased, to shield him so abnormally. Having raised the Yan estate so high up, the Emperor had completely shut off Yan Wenxin’s cautiousness.

And he himself had missed out on one person, the threat of an old friend.

Yan Wenxin turned his eyes towards Wu Xingzi, who stood next to Guan Shanjin. He was tucked in a wrap edged with silver fox fur, and he still seemed as fragile as before. On his ordinary face were the marks of time, and the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes were obvious. Together with his placid facial features, they looked like laugh lines. He appeared warm, gentle, and seemed to even be flinching a little. Right now, perhaps he was feeling cold, so he hid his chin in his furs, looking a little comical.

“Chang’an.” Yan Wenxin called out to him.

Hearing his voice, Wu Xingzi gave him a bewildered look, but he did not respond.

“I had thought that you were with Ping Yifan already.” Yan Wenxin mentioned this deliberately, noticing Guan Shanjin’s darkening expression in satisfaction, seeing a fire banked in those dark eyes. Now that things were like this, Yan Wenxin would not be so naive as to think that the Ping Yifan working with him was on the side of the southern barbarians. He definitely was also a pawn arranged by Guan Shanjin and the Emperor. Having been tempted into this trap step by step, Yan Wenxin was no longer able to extricate himself out of it. However, he was still able to cause some discomfort to Guan Shanjin.

Wu Xingzi wanted to speak, only to start sneezing from the fur around his face. Guan Shanjin quietly scolded him for being a foolish darling, taking out a handkerchief and wiping away the saliva and snot on his face. The devoted affection and tenderness on Guan Shanjin’s face really nauseated others. The smile on Yan Wenxin’s face faded away.

“Aiyah, I’ll just do it myself.” With a blush, Wu Xingzi quickly reached out for the handkerchief. However, Guan Shanjin caught his wrist, holding it down, and carefully wiped his face clean for him.

“I asked you to wait inside, but you insisted on coming out.” Guan Shanjin kept his handkerchief, putting on a fierce appearance as he pinched Wu Xingzi’s nose, causing the old fellow to feel very embarrassed.

“Aiyah, isn’t this… isn’t this…” Wu Xingzi scratched his cheek, looking just as shy as he did twenty years ago. Just like this, he looked at Yan Wenxin. “Meeting an old friend?”

It was as though a whole generation had passed.

They had met once previously. At that time, Yan Wenxin stood proudly at the top, showing contempt for the ordinary man in front of him, mocking him for his doddery behaviour, and how he could not see his own status, as well as the heart of the person in his bed clearly. Even if they once shared an entanglement of affection, it was not enough for Yan Wenxin to make note of it.

Right then and there, Yan Wenxin again stared at Wu Xingzi. This honest man, who had once looked at him foolishly, completely unable to conceal the love in his eyes, was now standing in front of him again. However, this time, in his dark eyes were emotions that Yan Wenxin could not understand. There was pity, there was a sigh, there was a loss, there was disappointment… there was everything, but anger.

“Zaizong-xiong,” Wu Xingzi called out to him. With his southern accent, he sounded both soft and demure, exactly the same as he did twenty years ago.

“Chang An.” Yan Wenxin responded, but the smile on his face had completely vanished. Instantly, he understood. Wu Xingzi’s actions had not been directed by Guan Shanjin, but on his own volition, he had become a hard, stumbling block for him.

“It’s been twenty years, and there’s something I’ve always wanted to say to you.”

“What is it?”

“Congratulations for your success in the imperial examinations.” Wu Xingzi smiled, bowing properly to Yan Wenxin. “You’ve brought glory to your family.”

Yan Wenxin looked at Wu Xingzi. For the first time in his life, he knew that he had underestimated the person in front of him.