Chapter 70
Two days later, Shan Zhu went back to North Hebei with a box of Ling Meng’s hometown specialties. Ling Meng specially sent a little Weibo post to tell the world:
@Lemon: Sending off @Mangosteen to return home! This time it really, really, really is long-distance!
— @FanA: Long distance on the surface, we understand.
—- @Lemon: It’s true! I’m sick at heart (sour) if I deceive you.
— @FanB: How many days are you going to stay this time? Or how many hours?
—- @Lemon: I’m not going back until school starts, absolutely no face-to-face contact!
— @FanC: I listened to the voice of Mang God these past two days of live broadcasts, the sound was a little bad, is that okay?
—- @Lemon: NILI Mang God wasn’t acclimatized, he has a little cold!
……
After Shan Zhu left, Ling Meng’s vacation was a little dull. Lemon Ma realized the problem was a little serious: this kid was really in love, he could only eat three bowls of her cooking.
There was no break from Shan Zhu’s streams; every night, Ling Meng was on time in the broadcast room to “listen” to him live.
Another million powder had written their letters in blood, threatening to raise money to buy the anchor a camera. The cat climbing trees were brushed one after another. Nevertheless the Fighting Cat Face Value-Ge was unmoved.
Instead, Ling Meng looked at the pure game screen for two days and his heart felt a little itchy.
Ling Meng: There are not many anchors who don’t sell their face these days.
Shan Zhu was streaming after a simple announcement he was back on Weibo.
Shan Zhu: Hmm?
Ling Meng: You must be a rare nationally-conserved fruit species.
Shan Zhu: You want to see me?
Before Ling Meng could understand what he was saying, he got a video call request.
The video connected, Shan Zhu smiled at him through the camera. If he were a bowl of lemon ice, he would have melted.
Shan Zhu touched his lips with his index finger, signaling for him not to talk. Ling Meng nodded like a chicken pecking rice, gesturing back with a strong OK sign.
Shan Zhu continued to commentate. Ling Meng was lying on the bed with his zoomed-in face, it couldn’t be more beautiful.
A million of water friends were listening live, but only this father could see the anchor!
Shan Zhu’s eyes occasionally drifted over and the two people smiled across the camera.
The next time Shan Zhu’s eyes moved, Ling Meng stuck his tongue out.
And the next time Shan Zhu’s eyes moved again, Ling Meng squeezed his eyes shut.
Ling Meng discovered a fun, new pastime. He was a man who could be made into an expression pack; in one minute, he could make 60 faces, without repeating one once.
The water friends were puzzled, obviously it was a serious match, why did the anchor sound like he was smiling?
— Is there a happy event at the anchor’s place?
— Could it be that you won a bet on this match?
— Didn’t you say you’re long-distance with MengMeng, why do you sound happy?
Ling Meng saw Shan Zhu bow his head and quickly write something, he held up the paper and showed him a moment later.
— If wacky behavior continues, this ends.
Ling Meng had been making a very awkward grimace. His squinted eyes saw six words and they reached through to his brain. His originally very exaggerated face became instantly expressionless.
This time Shan Zhu couldn’t hold back, he chuckled while smiling.
— What the hell is going on at the anchor’s place, say it to make us happy too?
— How much did you win on this match? Can I buy in with you next time?
— Does it make you so happy to be with separated from MengMeng?
“MengMeng, get up and eat fruit.”
Ling Meng jumped up in fright: “Ma!”
Barrage: ???
As soon as he jumped up, Lemon Ma naturally saw Shan Zhu in the video.
“Aiya, isn’t that Xiao Shan?”
“…..” Shan Zhu bowed his head, “Hello, auntie.”
Barrage: ?????
Ling Meng quickly pushed his ma out: “Ma, why didn’t you knock on my door before entering the room?”
The innocent Lemon Ma was pushed out with the fruit tray: “I knocked for a long time, you didn’t hear me. Who knew you were so engaged in doing that.”
“Don’t talk so loudly! He’s live!”
“Ah? I’m not going to be in the frame, am I?”
……
The sound faded away, Shan Zhu cleared his throat in a nonchalant manner.
“Excuse me, there was an accident, we’ll go on.”
— Go on? Who’s going to go on with you?
— Go on……to explain why MengMeng is with you?
— Come, report the deceitful anchor. [smile]
— Famous anchor, deceiving the audience! Separation only on the surface, a crime against heaven!
— Why do I feel like I’ve seen this barrage.
— The author copied and pasted the meme again~
“We’re really not together now.”
— This anchor is full of deceit.
— MengMeng’s bedroom —- I can imagine it!
Shan Zhu’s head hurt: “I’m going to buy a camera tomorrow, the story can move on, yeah?”
— If this is your deception, I am willing to be fooled!
— Anchor, please continue your commentary!
— Don’t let the irrelevant remarks disturb you, we’ve only come here for one purpose – watching the live game stream!
—
Footnotes:
1. rascal Mang (流芒): homophone pun, 流芒 is pronounced liumang, which is hoodlum/rascal using different characters 流氓 ↩
2. misdirection (声东击西): idiom about misdirection/deking, feint in the east to strike in the west ↩
3. paper tiger (纸老虎): idiom, a person who appears fierce and powerful but is actually ineffective (all talk, no action) ↩
4. dog meat (狗肉): meat is slang for smut ↩
5. separation (分居): when a husband and wife live apart ↩
6. CHUO: stinky, shameful, evil ↩
7. lemon essence (柠檬精): slang for someone who is argumentative, jealous, possessive, basically someone who is drinking vinegar a lot ↩
8. heartbeat boy (心动男生), hold hands successfully (牵手成功), Liang ShangBo & Juliet: references to the Chinese dating show If You Are the One, kind of like The Bachelor; the “heartbeat girl”(in the show) is the target for the male contestant, if the girl agrees to date him, they hold hands successfully and (in one season) the song Liang Shanbo & Juliet plays as they walk out ↩
9. phrase with face value: this is a reference to a poem by Wu Gui Jun, “Liking A Person”, that goes “starting from the face value, being trapped in the talent, loyal to the character, infatuated with the flesh, lost in the voice, drunk in the affection” ↩