Chapter 41: Don’t Leave Me.
Translator: Claire.KK
Zhishu He fell on the ground, with his chest soaked with blood. After he struggled with the suffocating pain, leaving the unprecedented quietness in the room.

He stared at the unadorned ring on the third finger of his left hand. He had worn the ring for more than a decade and rubbed it for ten million times, which had been turned into a rope that firmly tied his heart.

But he did not know that his precious ring was just a cheap and rough thing in others’ eyes. The cruel fact told him that his persistence in love was as funny as a joke.

Zhishu He took off the ring slowly. As he had worn it for too long, it was difficult and painful to do with it. But in the end, what the ring could leave was only a white and shallow trace.

He threw the ring far away with his eyes closed, hearing nothing but a few light sounds as the ring fell down and bounced under the sofa.

Zhishu He lay on the ground for a long time before getting up. Then he washed his face, cleaned his clothes, and cooked for cats. He felt that he might be really numb like a puppet, mending his broken heart again and again with needle and thread. Between the happy years and the sad years, he spent time like this.

When Wenxu Jiang went home, Zhishu He was reading in the living room, pretending that he didn’t know Wenxu Jiang’s return. Well, he just smiled with a light satisfaction, slowly turning over the pages.

“Little Shu.”Wenxu Jiang was attracted by that smile, and he called Zhishu He with deep feelings which seemed to have been accumulated and concealed for more than a decade.

“I’m back.” He finally came back like a kid tired of playing outside, being afraid to be beaten.

Zhishu He put down the poems written by Jian Zhen and looked up at the man who still stood in the entryway. Wenxu Jiang was holding a large bundle of gypsophila paniculata, a pair of affectionate eyes staring at Zhishu.

Zhishu He smiled, “Is it for me?” He stood up to pick up the flowers and was kissed on the cheek by Wenxu Jiang. “Of course. The jasmine hasn’t bloomed yet in the garden of Old Duan. I’ll pick it for you when it blooms.”

Zhishu He did not answer. He took over the flowers, but he could not find a vase to contain them. Later on, he remembered that the vase had been broken before.

Wenxu Jiang thought Zhishu He so cute and funny when he stood there foolishly while holding the flowers in his hand. Then, he begun to feel slightly moved and painful seeing Zhishu at a loss.

“Just put it aside. I’ll make it into dry flowers for you, which is easy to keep.” Wenxu Jiang looked at him with a smile and said, “You haven’t had dinner, right? I have bought some ingredients.”

It was only 6 pm. Zhishu He didn’t eat so early when he was alone. Even most of the time, he didn’t eat anything. And the medicine was enough to make him feel full.

Zhishu He stood behind the door of the kitchen and looked at Wenxu Jiang cooking like a boy. He said from time to time: “Less salt…no vinegar…don’t add coriander to the fish, you stupid!”

As a result, there was too much salt, vinegar, and even the coriander.”

“It was your fault to disturb my heart.” Wenxu Jiang smiled and pinched the cheek of Zhishu He, and then he was astonished by Zhishu He’s haggard face.

Zhishu He turned around and waited in the living room. He didn’t hope there was nothing esculent tonight.

Three dishes and one soup were served on the table. The first one made under the “guidance” of the Zhishu He was tasted by neither of them. That was in dinner, Wenxu Jiang found that the ring on Zhishu He’s finger disappeared.

“Where’s your ring?”

“Where’s my ring? Where is it?” Zhishu He immitated the tone of Wenxu Jiang and smiled.

Wenxu Jiang’s face changed, but he calmed down soon. Looking at the shallow mark on Zhishu He’s finger, he said with a low sound, “Little Shu, seriously, put the ring before I take you to pick a new one on the New Year’s Day. Is it ok?”

Zhishu He put down the chopsticks and said slowly, “But it was lost.”

Wenxu Jiang felt a sting in his heart, and began to feel that everything Zhishu He did tonight made him anxious. But Wenxu Jiang did not dare to ask anything. He was afraid that even more a word would let Zhishu He outbreak emotionally. Wenxu Jiang never felt so strongly that Zhishu He had a lot of unannounced grievances in his heart.

Zhishu He refused to eat anything, and Wenxu Jiang had no appetite, either.

Sitting there, Wenxu Jiang was out of his mind. Seeing Zhishu He clean up the bowl, feed the cat and concentrate on reading at the sofa, Wenxu Jiang finally realized that he had missed the chance for a long time.

They sat awkwardly in the drawing room for a long time until Zhishu He went into the bathroom of the guest room. Wenxu Jiang begun to take it in that Zhishu might be in a bad mood because of him but he did not dare to ask Zhishu He to go back to their bedroom. So he had to hold the pillow and went into the guest room too.

After Zhishu He came out of the bathroom, he found the man had lied on the bed. He wrinkled his eyebrows, for he did not appreciate a man who was so shameless.

In Wenxu Jiang’s view, Zhishu He looked so beautiful when he came out of the bathroom with water droplets hanging on his hair and rosy cheeks steamed by hot air. His face was small and white, so he was less intimidating even though he was frowning.

Wenxu Jiang got out of bed to take a shower, not giving Zhishu He a chance to drive him out.

Zhishu He lied down and turned off the light.

He didn’t fall asleep. When Wenxu Jiang went to bed and lied next to him, he was still awake. He felt that the man hugged him from behind, kissed his neck again and again, and groaned in a low, hoarse voice: “Zhishu, little Shu…”

Zhishu He did not know whether Shen Zui told the truth or not. But when he thought that Wenxu Jiang just hugged other man last night while now climbed into his bed, he felt disgust.

He struggled to get free and said, “I’m sleepy.”

Wenxu Jiang groped into Zhishu He’s pajamas, from his waist to the bottom, “Just once.”

Zhishu He gasped gently and whispered, “Not even once.”

Wenxu Jiang smiled and bit the neck of Zhishu He, “I promise I’ll be very gentle.” His voice was vague.

Indeed, when Wenxu Jiang became gentle, no one could refuse him. He kissed Zhishu He’s bosom patiently and carefully and gave oral sex to Zhishu He. He said solft with a low voice, trying to seduce him, “I won’t let you hurt in the future.”

Zhishu He turned his head to another side and closed his eyes, thinking that he would never need the man any more.

When Wenxu Jiang penetrated in, Zhishu He sobbed with a trill. Wenxu Jiang immediately stopped and wanted to turn on the light, but was held back by Zhishu He.

Wenxu Jiang kissed the cheeks of Zhishu He, finding that his sideburns even wet, “Did it hurt very much?”

Zhishu He shook his head, “No… It’s okay…”

Wenxu Jiang kept their fingers entwined with Zhishu He’s. He tried slowly and finally combined together with Zhishu. But there was still an empty and inauspicious feeling in his mind.

Wenxu Jiang kissed Zhishu He’s face bit by bit when he was moving. “Don’t leave me,” he said.

Zhishu He did not answer him.