Chapter 73 Su Han (Part Two)

Even though he was Su Han’s cousin, Zheng Xiaoguang did not know how she should congratulate him. Showing respect for one’s parents was human nature. It was unacceptable for him to sever ties with his parents for his girlfriend. But Zheng Xiaoguang still could not help but feel sorry for that girl whom she had not met.

When she was alone by herself, she did not even know whether she was sad for herself. Quite possibly, she had already had a premonition then that one day, she would suffer from such a sorrowful ending too.

Afterwards, roughly three more months had passed, and Zheng Xiaoguang still could not receive any news of whether the Su in-laws had softened their stances and thus, she became even more uneasy. The more suspicious she was, the more she liked to ask Su Han, “If your parents still did not want to see me, then what should I do?”

And she only wanted to receive Su Han’s promises that he would never give up but every time he would say, “No hurry, slowly does it.”

His determination had seemed to waver, and he was not as resolute as before. She could feel this.

Finally, there was once when they got into a big fight. Su Han was not inclined to fight but his words this time, pierced through Zheng Xiaoguang’s heart. “If I had long known, that time, I would not have invited you to come to S city to play. If that time, I had not held you by the hand, perhaps things would not have turned out this way.”

She would always remember how Su Han was that regretful at that time, and he even said, “My mother was right—perhaps that time, coming to see your parents was a little too early.”

If she had not comprehended incorrectly, did he mean that they should not have been together at all?

She struggled for several days in confusion, not knowing when they had started to change. Su Han had also started fading out from her life, and had started talking less to her.

This situation had continued for some time until one day, Su Han told her. “Let’s break up. My parents said that we can date, but we can never marry.”

So it was not only Su Han’s cousin, but also Su Han who made this decision. She cried and was very heartbroken. It was for that girl whom she had never met, and also for herself.

She had once thought that Su Han would have loved her enough and was a good man whom she could entrust her whole life to. As long as they could be together, no matter how much effort she had to put in, she would be willing. She also knew that sometimes, she could not stay calm enough, which was why she got into fights with him. But she had never known that Su Han would have chosen to escape in the cruelest way and destroyed her hopes, which were originally perfect.

His words were like a slap on the ear, which stung fiercely on her face. This made her forget to ask, “Then, have you already found someone suitable to marry, which is why you are now hurrying to talk matters clearly through with me?”

Such were the world’s greatest romances—after you carried all the emotional burdens of the past from everyone and held on to your beliefs in romance, that person who should have weathered the storms of life with you had actually told you that both of you should not have started.

In the blink of an eye, all your efforts had become a laughing joke.

That year, Su Han had changed Zheng Xiaoguang into a complete laughing stock from head to tail.

But he did not know that in order to be with him, she had spent so much effort convincing her own parents. He had not known that in order to acquire the consent of his parents, she had so meticulously pandered to each wish of them. He had only one explanation: “After all, you can find someone better” before hastily and swiftly making his escape.

Zheng Xiaoguang’s parents had not looked favorably upon her being together with Su Han. She had spent more than half year to let them accept things. But in the end, she still had to tell her parents, “You were right, in the end, he still gave up on me, saying that his parents did not agree.”

Zheng Xiaoguang still remembered the expression on her father’s face when he heard her convey the news. Her father furrowed his brows and became silent for half a day before sighing. “In the beginning, when his parents had not wanted to see you, they must already have made up their mind to disagree.”

But they had not expected that even after rejections once or twice, Zheng Xiaoguang still clung on to her hopes and did not give up.

Her mother also huffed. “So what was the point of pleading with me and your father, crying, asking for our approval? His parents don’t even think we are worthy enough. It might as well that you break up—just in case your parents-in-law still don’t think you are worthy enough after marriage, and put you in a spot. That time, what good days can you have? You, don’t talk about any online romances in the future.”

She knew why her parents were so angry. Su Han’s escape made them feel deeply a great betrayal and hurt.

Later, all her close friends and relatives, and everyone whom she had known would come running, specifically, to tell her in a tone of great sympathy after hearing this matter. “I’ve told you a long time ago. Online romances are not realistic but you were so insistent on delving into it. Now what should we do—you have gotten cheated on, haven’t you?”

Everytime Zheng Xiaoguang heard this, she would feel a great pain on her face, as if a knife had scraped her visage. Even though she knew clearly that everyone was concerned about her and was not laughing at her failure， neither her parents nor her friends wanted to hurt her, she still could not face the truth. This was because what they said to her appeared to be not empathy, but more like mockeries.

Hence, she rejected to get out of the house and refused to see anyone. This was because she was afraid of seeing their sympathetic glances and she was even more fearful of people spreading the news of her romance on the web to educate those who were in virtual romances or those who were about to get into one. “Look at this, Xiaoguang is an example. Virtual romances are too unreliable. She had been in one for almost two years, but the guy disappeared only because his parents didn’t agree. ”

Yes, at the time of the break-up, Su Han had only sent her a message to tell her such a bad ending, and he did not even have the courage to break up with her in person.

The pain of a deep romance could actually kill one without shedding blood.

Zheng Xiaoguang thought that she should hate Su Han. She should hate him for his lack of his own mind, his feebleness, and his lack of resoluteness.

Although his parents did not understand her, Su Han had dated with her for almost two years, so how could he not know what kind of person she was? When his parents asked him to dump her, did he even speak up for her, even once?

She should also hate Su Han for his irresponsibility, for his willingness to break up with her just like that. She should hate him for leaving her with such a terrible outcome, and for even finding an excuse to convince himself that she had not been too badly hurt to absolve himself of any guilt when he left.

She had countless reasons to hate him but she had actually hidden in her room so spinelessly, sobbing silently till both of her eyes were reddened and swollen. Even though logic had told her to let go of things, and to take things in stride, she was still swayed by her emotions, and she still hoped that he would return to her.

She did not give up because she had truly loved him.

“Xiaoguang, you can’t be like this forever.” Zheng Xiaoguang’s mother saw how her daughter’s crying had not subsided for a week and the rage that she had felt at first had transformed into sadness a long time ago. “If I were to go plead with them, their family could agree to let you two be together. I will go plead with them now…”

But it was these words which made Zheng Xiaoguang finally come to her senses as if awakening from a dream.

Even though her love had failed so tragically, and she had not only lost her lover but also her heart, she could not lose her last thread of dignity. Since Su Han had already decided to give up, why should she be pleading so bitterly? Even though the ending of this romance was not within her control, at least, she could end the plot her own way. She would not cling on to impossible hopes or hate the other person. She would also not let herself appear even more miserable.

Hence, at the very last, she gritted her teeth and held back all her sorrow, looking at her phone. Distanced by the cold and informal web, she only spoke these words: “Take care”.