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Chapter 618: Chapter 395: What I Want to Do_1
Carrie Thomas turned off her computer and walked out of the study with her heart pounding, cautiously and slowly approaching Harrison Clark’s bedroom door.
The door was not locked.
Carrie only cracked it open slightly.
Her heart raced as if she were beating a drum.
The house was quiet, with no sound to be heard.
After standing outside the door for about five seconds, Carrie cautiously closed the door and went to the guest room with her racing heartbeat.
Harrison had flown directly from his home country to Carlisle and did not sleep well on the plane, so he needed a good rest.
As a seasoned soldier, Harrison’s personal alertness was unsurpassed. However, once he realized it was Carrie outside, he let down his guard and didn’t pay too much attention.
He guessed that Carrie might have some thoughts after seeing the two songs and wanted to talk to him, or that she wanted to write a new song.
But after waiting five seconds, Carrie closed the door and left.
Harrison muttered to himself, “How strange.”
Oh well.
She probably didn’t have anything important to say; otherwise, with her character, she would have come in directly.
But just now, her heartbeat was really strong. Maybe she was suddenly struck with inspiration?
Harrison checked his phone and saw that it was quite late.
He thought it must be close to Carrie’s bedtime.
If he were to go to talk to her now, it might get her so excited that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.
So he didn’t ask and continued to sleep instead.
In the next room, Carrie was lying on the soft bed with her pillow propped up.
At first, her heartbeat still raced, and she couldn’t help but remember her bold actions just now.
Gradually, her emotions calmed down, and then she began to feel scared.
She had acted impulsively just now.
The timing wasn’t right.
She had thought about this issue before.
But she herself wasn’t particularly interested in it. She only felt that if the two of them were in a confirmed relationship, and Harrison was interested, it wouldn’t be a problem.
However, whenever she imagined the scene, she felt very strange.
Moreover, Harrison always acted very proper in front of her and others, as if he wasn’t concerned with the desires of the world.
Carrie thought that the two hadn’t completely established a relationship yet.
Morning Wind was still unfinished, and the dilemma Harrison wanted to solve was not seeing any resolution yet.
Neither of them had the mental capacity for anything else.
Furthermore, Harrison’s main battlefield in his career was currently in his home country, and the two would have to be separated in the short term.
If they became too attached to each other and were constantly separated, it would be difficult to avoid distractions during their respective studies and work.
Right now, both of them had unfinished business, and it was not the time to satisfy these base desires.
She would think about it again later; they were both still young, and there was still plenty of time. Things should fall into place naturally.
Carrie also needed to understand another issue.
What were her own views on sex?
Did she like it?
Of course not.
Disgusted?
There was some, but if she was, she wouldn’t have aspired to remain single for her whole life.
But if the person in question was Harrison, she seemed unable to feel disgusted. She only felt awkward and strange.
She was not a child either.
Sex, of course, had its value.
It originated from the instinct for biological reproduction and then manifested itself in more complicated expressions in humans, who have more complex thoughts and emotions.
Human complex thinking endowed sex with more meaning beyond mere reproductive instinct.
It could bring pleasure and satisfaction, allowing people to temporarily forget their sorrows and immerse themselves in the euphoria brought on by hormonal surges.
So, even in ancient times, even during the most turbulent and chaotic times, the reproduction of the species never ceased.
However, in modern society, the situation has changed.
With the extension of life expectancy, the active period of the human body has lengthened, and with the popularization of contraception, the meaning of sex has become more complex.
The demand for reproduction and the demand for sex have been increasingly separated from one another.
People now have choices.
Reproduction has become a responsible, active behavior rather than an accidental result of uncontrollable impulses.
As a direct consequence, the birthrate in developed countries has decreased as their knowledge, educational cycles, and the costs of child-rearing have increased.
On the other hand, economically underdeveloped regions, where modern thinking lags behind, maintain a high birth rate. However, the survival rate and living environment of infants in these regions are a cause for concern.
In short, with the arrival of the 21st century, the vast majority of impulsive, sex-related behavior has become unhelpful for reproduction, belonging purely to the realm of satisfying desires.
In the public domain, such desires are shameful, hidden, and even unmentionable.
However, the delicate truth is that most legitimate means of resolving sexual urges still need to be concealed under a gray veil.
It has evolved into a complex emotion that carries a sense of shame yet objectively exists throughout our lives.
Against this backdrop, two extremes of people have emerged, in addition to ordinary people.
One is those who sink into their desires and commit crimes against others involving coercion and unlawful acts. These people should be sent to prison or hell.
The other is people like Carrie, who, in the education they received from childhood, displayed a considerable degree of ignorance about sex. After entering society, they became disgusted with those who tried to force their desires on them, making it difficult to recover from their aversion to the idea.
If she hadn’t met Harrison, Carrie probably would have never considered these things at all.
In the first and second timelines of the past, her life trajectory perfectly proved that her commitment to being single was not just empty talk.