Ch. 20 A Cat Runs Away From Home (1)
It led me to a realization.
I was jealous that the woman—Ha-eun she was called—was so close to Tae-il. My gut roiled whenever Tae-il spoke her name in that familiar and intimate way.
“Ha-eun.”
“Hm?” She turned towards him. “What is it, Tae-il?”
“The shoot on Jeju Island that you spoke about…”
Me, I was just a plain black cat called Bow Meow.
Ha-eun, on the other hand, was an extraordinary beauty. She had gentle, smiling eyes, doll-like eyelashes, cheeks and lips as pink and as plump as peaches, and rich brown hair that fell over her shoulders and down her back.
She had everything I had lost. No, she had much more than that.
“The Miss Sewon special feature?” he continued.
“Oh, that,” she said. “I think beauty pageants from other well-known universities will join as well. Because of the Miss Sewon feature, it became a Miss Ivy League graduate edition. You could call a project about one’s first love?”
“Oh? Maybe there will be some people you recognize.”
“I’ll show you when the casting is done.”
“I look forward to it.”
“Oh? Maybe there will be some people you recognize.”
“I’ll show you when the casting is done.”
“I look forward to it.”
As I listened to their conversation, I gleaned that she came from the prestigious Sewon University and was their representative beauty. Even with my own eyes, I could tell that her looks were exceptional. I was only a shabby black cat next to her. Life always seemed to find a way to be cruel to me, and as soon as I found someone I could like, I was reminded that there was no hope for love.
It was natural to like someone who took care of you during hardship, and hideous to hate them for no good reason.
I felt my face grow hot, but it wasn’t noticeable as I was in cat form. I squirmed out of Tae-il’s arms, went to his bedroom to crawl underneath the bed, and buried my face in my paws in shame.
“Bow Meow?” Tae-il called out.
How could I fall in love while I was like this?
How could I be mad at the man who took care of me as a pet cat?
“Kitty? Bow Meow?”
Tae-il, concerned by my strange behavior, followed me into the bedroom. He knelt down to look at me tucked away in my hiding place, but I was too far away for his slender hands to reach to reach.
I wish I didn’t know him. It was too embarrassed to look at his face. And yet, the only thing that had occupied my life this past month was Tae-il; the dizzying moments when he held me naked in his sleep, when he rubbed our cheeks, when he scratched my chin, when he kissed me…I loved it all.
My head spun. I continued to curl in my corner and press against the wall.
This couldn’t happen. Why did I have to yearn for something that was impossible for me to have? Life had become an intolerable mess.
***
It was late at night when the drinking party ended and everyone else returned home.
Tae-il was calling me again, trying to figure out why I was acting so subdued.
“Bow Meow? Why are you like that?”
“…”
“Come out, okay? Is it because there were a lot of strangers?”
I wish I wasn’t the cause for his worry, but at the moment, I was so upset I didn’t want to move.
“Ah, are you sick?”
How could I explain to him that reason I was depressed was because I was a cat?
I like you. You’re human, and I’m upset because I’m a cat.
It was all because of how I died.
“Kitty?”
At one point, he managed to stretch his hand to where I was curled up. When he touched my tail, I moved it away, and when he touched my hind legs, I retreated even deeper underneath the bed.
I didn’t want his touch. I didn’t want to be held as a cat.
But there were limited places to hide, and his long, slender hands soon caught me. He dragged me out from under the bed by my abdomen.
“Is it because your foot hurts? Let me take a look at it.”
Irritated and unwilling to be manhandled, I yowled and swatted away his jaw with my front foot. However, as I flexed my leg to do so, I had drawn out my claws. They caught on his skin and left deep scratches on his cheek.
“Nyaaang! Nya?” (Let go of me! Huh?)
“Ow…”
Bright crimson blood started to drip from the three red claw marks cut across his face.
Tae-il pressed his hand against his cheek, and though I could not see the blood anymore, the smell of it pierced my nose. I was immediately seared with guilt. He had shown me kindness, and I repaid it by hurting him.
“Mi miiii…yaong…” (I…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to.)
“Hm? Ah…no, I’m fine…”
“Myaaang…yaong…” (I’m sorry…)
It wasn’t on it on purpose. A fit of anger had just exploded out of me all of a sudden.
I hated this cat body even more. I had hurt his face with it.
“It was my fault for scaring you,” Tae-il reassured. “It’s okay. ”
Instead, he was the one that ended up comforting me. Was it his instinct to worry about others? Even towards an ungrateful cat that scratched its owner? I almost wanted to cry at how lucky I was.
I hated these cursed paws. Why did I not meet Tae-il until I turned into an animal? I wish I were a real person, but I would never have known his kindness if I were. I wouldn’t have even met him.
I didn’t know that such a good man existed, and I inwardly wept.