It’s said that when people are near death, they’ll see a walkthrough of their memories.
Yan HeQing didn’t know whether he was in that state or not, but he could see his younger self and his elder royal brothers studying together in the Academy. They were children of seven or eight years, shaking their heads and reading about family affairs, state affairs and world affairs. When he looked up again, all his royal brothers were decapitated and buried in the loess1 ground.
He stood up and retreated in panic, as if trying to escape from the scene. In his panicked state, he bumped into one person. His mother, the Empress.
Yan HeQing’s mother stood behind him and said in a soft voice: “HeQing, you must live, you must stay alive.”
She kept repeating the word “live” over and over again. Her voice grew sharper and sharper, to the point in which her voice became as if she wanted to cut through his ears. Her face became feracious as she stretched out her arms covered in Jade jewelry, and grabbed Yan HeQing’s neck, strangling him while repeating the phrase “you must stay alive” over and over again.
Yan HeQing didn’t struggle, and just when he thought that he would be strangled to death, the scene in front of him suddenly changed. Yan HeQing covered his throat and kneeled on the ground, looking up only to see his father shouting out to the Heavens: “Why are you destroying my Southern Yan Kingdom? The hatred of our country will be forever engraved in our bones and hearts! And we will not be forgotten by the future generations to come!!”
After shouting, his father used his sword to cut his own throat.
Yan HeQing felt himself shuddering all over, and when he tried to stand up, he was suddenly kicked by someone and rolled down into the mud. Gradually, he was buried by the fetid and filthy mud. Then, he saw the Northern Kingdom’s Emperor looking down at him: “Hmm? There’s another one alive? Never mind, take this one back to the Northern Kingdom as a prisoner.”
Right after that, Yan HeQing woke up.
The consciousness gradually returned to his body, and Yan HeQing couldn’t help but think to himself: ‘Once again, I didn’t die.’
Yan HeQing slowly opened his eyes, trying to identify where he was, but for some reason, his eyes were filled with gray mist. No matter how much he blinked and rubbed his eyes, he still couldn’t see anything.
Is he….. blind?
This thought suddenly arose from the bottom of Yan HeQing’s mind. At the mere thought of becoming blind, he fell into a panicked state and his body began to feel extremely cold. He felt so helpless and frightened.
At that moment, he heard the sound of a door being pushed open, followed by a female voice: “Ah… you, ahem, Gongzi, are you awake?”
Yan HeQing didn’t have the intention to answer. He kept pressing and rubbing his eyes, as if he wanted to rub away the grey mist in front of him, but the only thing he achieved was to rub his eyes until they became bloodshot.
Yan HeQing then heard the sound of footsteps approaching him, and that woman reached out her hand to pull at Yan HeQing’s wrist, stopping him from rubbing his eyes. Then she said: “Don’t rub them, you’re not blind. You’ll recover in a few days.”
Yan HeQing raised his head and narrowed his eyes, but the only thing he could see was a vague outline of the person in front of him: “How do you know?”
“You can believe in me, I… Gongzi, I have learned some medical skills, so Gongzi can just believe in my word.”
Yan HeQing bowed his head, pulled his hand away from the woman’s and asked: “Where are we? Who are you?”
“This is a small wooden cabin in the deep mountain. It’s usually used as a place to take a temporary rest by medicinal herbs gatherers and hunters. I… my surname is Lin, and my name is Shenling.”
Yan HeQing kept blinking, he seemed to feel very uncomfortable with this kind of half-blindness. He turned his head to look at the blurred outline, but he still couldn’t get his vision to focus: “Why did you save me?”
That person’s breathing was inexplicably stagnant and she was silent. Just when Yan HeQing thought she wasn’t going to answer, he suddenly heard a very soft voice: “There’s no reason why.”
Yan HeQing was unsure about it being no reason at all, but he nodded regardless: “Thank you. I will repay you in the future.”
Yan HeQing’s tone was flat and without any emotion. Even his gratitude was shallow. He didn’t seem to want to know anything more and turned his head away, signaling that he didn’t want to keep talking. That person waited for a moment, and then, walked out of the wooden cabin.