Chapter 45: Chapter 45
On her way back from work, Arum’s heart was pounding—not because she wanted to meet Konsu, but because she was worried.
Konsu, who called her out of the blue, said he was waiting for her at her house.
‘What’s he going to say to me?’
She couldn’t figure out whether he would get angry or apologize to her.
The bus arrived at the stop near her house. Looking out the window, she saw him standing there.
Though she got on and off the bus at the same stop several hundred times, she got extremely tense at that moment. When she got off, Konsu approached her first.
“Hi, Arum!” he greeted her with a bright smile as if nothing had happened.
“Did you wait long?” asked Arum, responding casually to make him feel comfortable.
“No, I just got here.”
“You must be hungry, right?”
“Not really.”
Arum was embarrassed by his unexpected reply.
‘Hey, you should say you’re hungry even if you aren’t.’
Originally, she planned to have dinner with him and bring up the main topic, but surprisingly Konsu suggested first, “Why don’t we get beer?”
She felt that dinner should not necessarily be a meal. She also felt that drinking would be a better setting for their frank conversation than eating with pleasantries.
Instead of a crowded beer house on the street, she took him to a small sushi bar in the alley.
It was a perfect restaurant for quiet talk, combined with a delicious meal and beer.
“What do you want to have for dinner?”
“Nothing in particular.”
That’s all they said until their orders came.
She ordered prime ribs and chicken salad for Konsu, who liked meat. Japanese-style beef with whole grain mustard and raw wasabi was pretty delicious. She used to eat ramen or noodles when she came here alone. Today, she was with a special guest.
The waitress brought them beer first.
Konsu filled the glass for Arum.
She looked at the froth on the beer filling the glass, feeling anxious to speak to him. She couldn’t figure out why he suddenly called her. She decided to keep silent until Konsu opened his mouth first.
They didn’t toast with beer. Arum drank her own beer, while Konsu emptied his own glass.
What a grim drinking party!
She felt nervous while drinking beer.
Finally, Konsu opened his mouth first.
“Sorry. I think I left everything to you when I left you three years ago.”
At that moment, she felt agonized. She still couldn’t figure out his intentions.
“I didn’t know that was the end of our affair at that time.”
Refilling his glass, he continued, “I really had a hard time getting by because I missed you.”
And then he raised his head to look at her.
She was heartbroken.
When was the last time that they looked at each other calmly like this?
Tears ran down her cheeks.
At that moment, she fretted over his change of mind, nervous about whether he might say that he didn’t want to see her again.
But her nervousness melted away the moment she heard what he just said.
“Well, it’s me who missed you more.”
“Are you really sad?” he said mischievously with a smile, as if he felt awkward.
Nonetheless, tears kept running down her cheeks.
In the end, he moved to her side and wiped her tears.
“Stop crying. I’m here to see you laugh, Arum.”
Then he wrapped his arms her shoulders and hugged her tightly.
Although she stopped sobbing for a moment, she cried again, wrapped in his arms.
It was kind of her emotional outpouring, which she had held up since she split with him.
She didn’t know how she could hold such a reservoir of tears for so long as her tears kept flowing.
Since he couldn’t cope with it, Konsu felt pretty embarrassed.
Though they took a table in the corner, it wasn’t of much help.
A part-timer looked askance at them.
Konsu signaled to him with his eyes that she was alright.
Quick-witted part-timers that night didn’t go to Arum’s table on purpose.
Other customers sometimes looked at them, but most focused on their food.
After some time, Arum came to her senses.
It was not desirable to be a heroine in public. She calmed down and wiped her tears with napkins. Mascara spread all over her face, but it was inevitable.
Still, she was bothered. She checked her face through the smartphone camera on the table. Fortunately, she didn’t look terrible.
She should have not cried from the beginning. She should have controlled her emotional feelings and dined with him sensibly.
But it was too late. There was no point in crying over spilled milk.
She looked at Konsu quickly.
Dang it!
His chest was soaked in her tears.
“You’re ashamed, right?” he said.
“Yes, of course.”
“I would have left you.”
She giggled at that and said, “If you had left me again today, I would have treated you as a human scum!”
She now pulled herself together a bit and responded to him with a smile.
A guy who could show himself as he was without any pretension.
In that respect, Konsu was the only guy to Arum.
‘Yeah, my guess was not wrong. You’re the one and only guy for me.’
She felt ashamed of herself because she once doubted her choice of Konsu.
‘You hold such a great trust in me, but I didn’t do the same. Sorry.’
She got hungry after crying.
A quick-witted part-timer came back with their order.
“Your food got a bit cold.”
“It’s fine. Thanks.”
Konsu took the plate and put it on the table. Arum couldn’t raise her head because she was to blame for the 80% of the food that went cold.
“I’m hungry. Let’s enjoy the food. I know you can’t stand being hungry,” said Konsu.
He offered a slice of meat to her.
She quickly bit it into her mouth.
She was okay now after making a scene like that, and he sat across from her again.
“Never did you think I kept all the packages in the small room, didn’t you?” filling a cup of soju for him, she asked.
He lightly nodded.
She said, “I couldn’t throw them away. You know how much effort we put into them…”
“Sorry.”
“I didn’t keep them to hear you say that. I wanted to dispose of them when I met you again. Because I felt that you would come back to me.” She expressed her genuine feelings to him now.
Konsu said, “Well, I thought that you sold them all because we split up three years ago. When I saw them, I got enraged all of a sudden. That reminded me of all those bad memories I had, such as where we bought them, how much we paid for them, et cetera.”
‘That’s why you got so angry at me,’ she thought, looking at his bitter expression.
Without raising his head, he said, “I came back home with a heavy heart, but I was still angry.”
She was bothered by his self-mocking comment.
“Sorry, Konsu.”
“No, I was angry at myself because I left you alone there. Just like I did the other day.”
She was once again deeply touched by his confession.
‘No, I shouldn’t cry again.’
She opened her eyes wide on purpose, and cracked jokes. “In fact, I wanted to do lots of things to you when I met you again, such as slapping you in the face, throwing water on your face, and even picking on you with my high heels.”
“Oh my goodness! I’m scared! Did you meet me to take revenge on me?”
“Revenge? Yeah, of course. Did you think I would not?” “You changed a lot, Arum.”
“But when I met you again, I couldn’t think of those anymore.”
Her voice already turned soft, which pleased him.
“Of course. You know me, I’m a nice guy.”
When she got all her sorrows off her chest, she felt that her mind had lightened up.
‘Let me keep an eye on you from now on.’
She felt strange over how she could toy with that kind of thinking in front of Konsu.
Obviously she had a strain of snobbery in herself.
She now realized that there were lots of other important things than love. That didn’t mean she wanted to split with him again. She wanted to make the type of romantic relationship that was mature enough.
Her relationship with him in her 20s was full of love and passion. Now, in her 30s, she had to take into account her work, love ,and herself when she would date him again.
‘Never lose sight of yourself.’
She kept emphasizing that phrase in her regular column titled, ‘Coaching Lovers in their 20s.’
While thinking about that, she was sipping on her beer when her cell phone buzzed.
It was a call from Hojoon.
There were three missed calls from him. Obviously, he had called her while she was crying.
“Won’t you answer the call?” asked Konsu, looking at her.
She hid her cell phone and said, “Oh, that’s an important call.”
Though she said that, she was bothered.
‘What’s the matter with him?’
Arum was now concerned about Hojoon in front of Konsu!