Chapter 148: Chapter 147

“This land is one of the many roots of the world tree. Since the roots of the world tree are connected with the grace of the blessed ones, they always present the land of human beings. But you humans can’t see them with your eyes.”

Marianne quickly gave up after trying hard to figure it out.

If the person in front of her, or this person in the image of God, was really God, it would be impossible for a human like her to persuade or understand by human standards.

So, she decided to ask a slightly different question.

“Can’t anyone be brought here other than me?”

“Anthea said, ‘Anyone who is divine may be able to unite with grace.’ There are less than one hundred human beings who have interacted with the nine gods for over a thousand years…”

“Then, how did I get here? I can’t go back forever?”

When Marianne asked, Kader reached out instead of replying. Marianne hesitated for a moment and then stood up, holding her hand. The hem wet with water was heavy, but before she complained about it, Kader put her hand over her forehead.

Her eyes were now colored in white light. Right at that moment, she recalled some impressive scenes from her present life.

<Marie. I can’t lose you again. Estelle’s sacrifice alone is enough.>

<You should have told me much earlier that Mrs. Chester killed my mother, and that Ober’s the killer’s son!>

<What are you doing now? This is just the stupidest thing you can choose.>

<Do I even have the right to take responsibility for myself? Why can’t I make the decisions for things like this?>

<Marianne, are you okay? Take a deep breath. Can you hear me?>

<Marie! No… Open your eyes! Come to your senses, Marie!>

The cycle of unbearable memories seized her whole body. Her forgotten emotions came out like a storm. She barely stood up, but her cheeks quickly became wet with tears. If she opened her mouth, she would cry.

“Your fate was trying to wake me up hastily.”

Kader replied belatedly and slowly withdrew her hands. The halo that shone like a small sun perished quickly.

“But the time has not come yet for you to wake up. The deity of Anthea has temporarily confined your soul in her blessings. Your flesh is still in the land of human beings, so it will go back there soon…”

The goddess tightened her grip on the spear. But unlike humans, there were no veins on her hands, so nothing appeared on the back of her hands that seemed to be made with something.

“How pitiful you are… As you are suffering from big trials, even your faith is wrong-headed.”

Marianne didn’t say anything, but Kader sympathized with her as if she knew everything. Her fingers as smooth as a stone statue carved by a skilled craftsman touched Marianne’s cheeks.

As the light reflected on her fingertips gently wiped her tear marks, her mental affliction, which was mysteriously wandering through her body, gradually went away.

“You’ll be alright.”

Kader stroked her head, looking straight into her green eyes.

“You are the evidence of my courage. Although you are weak and foolish, I’ve made you a righteous and good human being.”

This time, Marianne rubbed her wet eyes hard.

Kader’s strong and sincere voice had the power to wipe the bruises deep in her heart.

Kader’s declaration that she was alright, and that her life was rooted in justice and goodness was surprisingly comforting to Marianne.

In no time, Kader grabbed her hands and pulled them. The goddess began to walk towards the end of the vast field. Marianne followed her as if she was bewitched.

“The grace I gave you before I fell asleep is neither immortal nor regenerative.”

Strangely enough, Marianne felt pressured when she looked at Kader’s back.

“The power of truth to correct what is wrong.”

“…”

“Indomitable will to overcome the failure.”

“… ”

“As I knew that Anthea’s love would dwell in you in the future, I prepared a weapon to protect you.”

Kader rigorously finished her words. Marianne, who had shut her mouth the entire time, pulled her hand away from her. When she stopped suddenly, Kader, who was walking ahead, also stopped and looked back.

“However…I do not deserve your love and strength. I hurt all my beloved ones and I don’t know how to use the power you gave me. I ruined myself in my previous and second life. So, I only wished I had gone back to my previous…”

“You are still stupid.”

Kader cut off her words even before she finished talking. Her vivid green eyes burned with anger.

“Didn’t I tell you clearly that the blessing I’ve given you was not an infinite resurrection? Fate is never decided according to your will. Even if you go back to yourself as a child, do you think your life can be perfect without any single flaw?”

Marianne dropped her head. In fact, she already knew it all, so she was speechless when Kader refuted her.

If Kader’s last grace for her was not reincarnation, death in her second life meant eternal sleep. It was just all over. That meant she could no longer use it as a weapon to erase her mistakes or flaws.

Moreover, like Kader said, there was no guarantee that her father and mother, Eckart and her, Ober and Mrs. Chester, would all live good and happy lives even if she went back to those days when all these things took place.

And the blessings given to her by the goddesses were not the power for her to determine others’ lives as she wished. If she led a life in which she had to be conscious of others’ lives, she would have to suffer forever, even if everyone else was happy.

“Trial and despair are the foundation of revenge by nature.”

Kader penetrated all of Marianne’s being. A fragrant wind shook the stems of green barley and quickly dried up Marianne’s wet clothes.

Marianne was soon wrapped in Kader’s arms.

Kader held Marianne’s shoulders back with one hand holding the spear, and raised her chin with the other hand so she could look far away.

“Look. Even on my mother’s beautiful land, Tanatos’ shadow is always on the ground. Just like good versus evil, beauty versus ugliness, joy versus sorrow, light becomes complete with shadow.”

Like Kader said, the real world before Marianne was one with all kinds of mysterious stuff.

Light pouring from the clear sky without a cloud made the shadows of the trees and the flying birds below it. The shade without the sun made the grass and soil decay, but it was also a refuge for small animals getting away from the sun. Sunlight, indispensable for growing flowers and grains, sometimes dried up the land and brought about fire through the wind.

“Your hope and destiny will be like that, as well.”

It was something like one but not one, eternal but not eternal.

Marianne recalled the words she had heard from Helena, which her previous cardinals talked about the fate of Kader.

And she realized suddenly that Kader was comforting and scolding her.

Just as Kader herself realized her resurrection from the betrayal of Tanatos and created courage and revenge, Marianne realized that she would use the trials and despair in her life for her future hope and revenge. She realized that there was no eternal curse or immortal blessing. She also realized that instead of going back to the days when nothing happened, she would have to stick it out and survive…

“You are the evidence of my firm courage. You were chosen by the star of your mother.”

Kader turned Marianne back. Their eyes resembling the color of the budding young leaves faced each other.

“Fight. Do not be afraid. Fix what is wrong and keep what is right. Even if you are injured and fall, you should move forward. Anthea and I will always protect you.”

Marianne had resented the goddesses who would be watching her somewhere when she had Eckart beside her, who was unconscious, after they fell from Benoit Falls.

When she discovered her father’s secrets, and even when she realized her mother’s tragedy, she actually felt some of the blame was to go to the goddesses.

Whatever the great will of the gods, she was only one human being. It was natural for her to blame the two goddesses who would allegedly protect her whenever she was faced with a terrible situation. So, if she could meet the goddesses, she wanted to search for and drag them before her and ask them why all these terrible things happened to her.

But just as much as she resented them, she also wanted to depend on them at the same time. In fact, her second life itself was possible because of god’s miraculous power. If possible, she wanted to use their holy power and the name and honor of the divine rooted on the earth as a weapon in order to correct what was wrong, obtain revenge on the one who betrayed her in her previous life, and lead a happy life in the end.

“…You must keep your promise.”