Chapter 712 Do not feel anything
“Okay, I’ll see if I can make that work by the studio tomorrow. Don’t worry about it.”
Qi Changfeng didn’t have to wait too long before he got Gu Yan’s reply, which he knew was the answer he had expected, but for some unknown reason, he was also a bit disappointed at it. Furthermore, this kind of disappointment seemed to be slowly devouring him. He no longer had the mood to send any more messages to Gu Yan. In fact, he even didn’t want to say thanks to her.
Although he had said he was to discuss this matter about Gu Manman with Gu Yan, he had his own selfish motives to talk to her. Or perhaps it could be said that this was just a chance for him to see how she treated him. He also wanted to know whether she had any feelings for him other than being just friends.
But it was very clear that Gu Yan’s actions were completely blatant. Her discussion about work with him could be actually considered as completely blocking his way to pursue her.
He hated it when she made the relationship between the two of them so formal and estranged. Normally, he would long for more opportunities to talk to her. But now, he was in such low spirits that he didn’t want to talk to her anymore and threw his phone to the corner of the room.
Qi Changfeng suddenly felt like something got stuck in his heart. He couldn’t swallow it, but he also couldn’t spit it out. This suffocated feeling made him feel like crying.
He picked up the wine bottle and gulped down. He felt that the wine burnt down his throat. It was so strong that he felt hot and dry.
Recently, he made alcohol become the essence of his life. He knew that this wasn’t good, as alcohol would cause him to be unconscious. But there was no way for him to avoid it. He felt like he couldn’t live without alcohol, just like how he couldn’t live without Gu Yan. Despite clearly knowing what he was addicted to was poison, he still drowned himself in it.
Gu Yan waited for a while but did not receive any reply from Qi Changfeng, so she did not stay in the office any longer. To a girl, it was indeed getting a little late by this hour, and she no longer had Mo Yichen waiting for her downstairs when she got off work. So she had to take care of her own safety.
Her work today was tough, and it could be considered a challenge for her. Gu Yan felt that she was really exhausted by now, both physically and mentally. She drove home by herself. Sitting in the car, she did not feel comfortable. She urgently wanted to go home and lie down on her warm bed.
She couldn’t help speeding up, but before she knew it, a car suddenly drove out of the corner. She immediately jammed on the breaks. It took a long time for her to stop the car before she realized that she had been in a daze while driving.
The other party’s curses resounded, but she did not bother with it. She simply stopped the car by the roadside and sat alone in the driver’s seat.
On the surface, she looked calm. However, only she herself knew how the waves in her heart surged violently. She did not figure out how she had managed to drive so fast without knowing it. This was something that had never happened before.
Gu Yan had no idea what was going on with her. She thought that after working for an entire day, she could numb herself with work and stop dwelling on the things that she shouldn’t think about. She had controlled her thoughts but couldn’t control her own feelings, which were the things that even she herself wasn’t in charge of.
Gu Yan felt that she had always been a wise and rational person. She would not let her emotions get in the way of her work. However, everything that had just happened had perfectly proven that she did not have a clear consciousness right now. She did not even know that she was still driving and that she had burnt up the road.
However, she knew exactly why all of this was happening.
She had just stopped working, but her memories of Mo Yichen had already swept over her. She had no way to avoid that and could only allow these emotions to drown her.
She always felt that she was being reasonable, but at this moment, her eyes were sour. Furthermore, she didn’t know when, but at some point, her tears had started to burst out uncontrollably. This wasn’t the life that she had expected.
She used to think that there would be no other couples in the world who could be more loving than her and Mo Yichen. But the reality had turned out to be like this. It was like one slap after another to her face, and there was no place for her to hide away from them.
Gu Yan knew very well that she should not let her negative emotions affect her for too long. However, she could not control those regarding Mo Yichen. She could not even call Mo Xiangyan because she could not hear any news about Mo Yichen from him.
Gu Yan knew that she was too weak. This was not the side she wanted to see of herself. However, once something was involved with Mo Yichen, she did not know what to do about it.
Gu Yan stopped by the side of the road for a long time, feeling the cold wind blowing on her face. It was not until her tears could finally stop that she gathered her courage to start the car again. However, this time, she became extremely focused on driving.
After returning home, she did not do anything but just sat quietly on the sofa, took out her mobile phone, and stared at Mo Yichen’s profile picture in the dialog box. Although she had always topped that dialog box, she had not received any messages out of it recently.
Gu Yan then purposely switched on the hint tone. Every time she received a message, she could not help but take a look. However, each time, she could not suppress the disappointment in her heart. There had never been a message from Mo Yichen.
Gu Yan felt that if she continued to think about it, she would become a woman who was full of resentment. This was not the situation that she wanted to have. She placed her phone on the coffee table and forced herself to stay far away from it. She was sure that her heart should not be affected by these things anymore.
After that, she walked into the bathroom numbly and turned on the shower. Watching the water droplets falling one drop after another, Gu Yan felt as if these water droplets had been poured on her heart. She did not care about it and just stood under the shower, allowing the water droplets to hit her face as they pleased. She did not feel anything by now.
But she did not know if her tears fell along with the water droplets.