Chapter 992: Hug (7)

As Cheng Han cried “mummy” in an adorable voice, Cheng Weiwan immediately straightened up, carried Cheng Han, and walked over to the bathroom.

The moment she turned around, Han Zhifan clearly saw her let out a long exhale.

Is it because with me here… she feels really stressed out?

In the bathroom, Cheng Han talked non-stop with Cheng Weiwan.

Han Zhifan listened for a while. When Cheng Weiwan took Cheng Han to wash their hands at the sink, he got up and left the baby’s room.

Han Zhifan walked out the door and stood in the hallway. He couldn’t help but keep his head down and scoff.

How strange. This is my home, so I can go wherever I want. Why do I want to avoid her because she let out a long exhale?

Although Han Zhifan wasn’t right in front of Cheng Weiwan, he could still silently observe her.

It was exactly as the housekeeper described.

When Cheng Han was around her, she would be fine. She seemed no different from the Cheng Weiwan he used to know.

As soon as Cheng Han wasn’t by her side, she became a little dazed, or she would hold onto something in her hand all day without noticing, or the housekeeper would be chatting away enthusiastically while she would be the only one secretly hiding away.

After dinner, Cheng Weiwan stayed with Cheng Han in the toy room as he played with his toys.

Han Zhifan was afraid Cheng Weiwan couldn’t take care of Cheng Han on her own with her current condition, so after he ordered the housekeeper to come up and stay with them, he went to the study.

He really was busy with some work. It wasn’t problematic, but there was a little loophole in the contract. By the time Han Zhifan finished editing the contract, it was ten in the evening.

When he came out of the study, the noisy hallway had become unusually quiet.

He knew Cheng Han was definitely asleep.

But when he brushed past the baby’s room, Han Zhifan still pushed open the door and took a peek inside.

It was the same as when he came back home in the afternoon; the nanny was there and Cheng Weiwan wasn’t.

Han Zhifan thought Cheng Weiwan was tired and headed back to the bedroom to get some rest. He didn’t think much of it, but he shut the door and went downstairs to get a drink.

After he finished his drink, Han Zhifan wasn’t in a hurry to go upstairs, so he walked outside the villa for a cigarette.

When he smoked half his cigarette, Han Zhifan thought about the Tegong Cigarettes someone gifted him over the game of golf that afternoon. They were still somewhere in the car. He bit his cigarette butt and walked over to the car in the middle of the courtyard.

Before he reached the car, he caught the quiet sound of sobbing.

Han Zhifan’s footsteps instinctively came to a stop.

It was very quiet in the courtyard; not a single other sound could be heard. Han Zhifan thought he misheard and was just about to continue walking away when he heard the sobbing again.

This time, he could tell where it was coming from.

He hesitated for a moment then strode over and walked towards the garden.

He deliberately slowed down his pace.

There were no lights on in the garden. The deeper into the garden he walked, the dimmer the light became.

Han Zhifan walked for about two meters. With the help of the pale streetlights outside the courtyard, he saw a figure crouched under an old tree.

Just by the clothes, Han Zhifan could tell it was Cheng Weiwan with one glance.

She was shivering like crazy. She was crouched on the ground with her head buried in her knees.

She was probably afraid of someone catching her crying, so she forcibly stopped herself from crying out loud.

Occasionally, she couldn’t help but let out a short gasp and sob.

Even though he couldn’t see her face, Han Zhifan could tell from her skinny frame that she was crying in devastation.

Chapter 993: Hug (8)

The housekeeper told him she didn’t only catch Cheng Weiwan secretly hiding away to cry just once.

Cheng Weiwan chose such a place to hide. The housekeeper only caught her crying a handful of times, right?

When Han Zhifan came back at noon, the housekeeper said Cheng Weiwan had just been crying. Now, he’d seen her crying with his own eyes… In one short day, he knew she cried at least twice…

Han Zhifan sensed his heart being cut to pieces by a knife. It hurt so much that he couldn’t muster the strength to even breathe.

She hadn’t sensed his presence as she cried.

He saw her fingers clutching her clothes shivering frantically.

Han Zhifan couldn’t help but purse his lips. He wanted to walk over to her but his feet couldn’t move. It was like they were glued to the ground.

After an unknown amount of time had passed, her trembling body gradually calmed down.

Han Zhifan knew she must’ve cried enough. He was afraid she would suddenly get up and see him, so he silently walked back. He retreated all the way to the front of the car. Without even grabbing the cigarettes he came to get in the first place, he walked right upstairs.

He stood in front of the window of the study. He stared in the direction of the garden for a while before he finally saw her silhouette.

Perhaps she had crouched for too long because she felt pins and needles on the soles of her feet. She limped as she walked.

He wasn’t sure if he was seeing things, but he felt like she was a lot skinnier than before.

Not long after entering the house, the sound of footsteps was heard from the open study door behind him.

But soon enough, the sound of her footsteps disappeared with the sound of the door shutting.

He thought she must’ve gone back to her bedroom to sleep.

Perhaps it was because of the exercise in the afternoon and because he had been busy all day with work that Han Zhifan was a little exhausted now. He originally planned to smoke a cigarette, relax a little, and go back to his room to sleep.

But at that moment, he thought back to the image of Cheng Weiwan carrying her son into the bathroom and letting out a sigh of relief after Cheng Han woke up from his afternoon nap. He didn’t even notice he was having that thought before he instinctively banished the thought.

Han Zhifan didn’t know just how long he stood on the balcony of his study, but he had pins and needles in his legs. Then he walked out of the study and pushed open the door of his bedroom.

Cheng Weiwan was already asleep, but her brows were tightly furrowed like she was troubled by something.

There was a little bottle of medicine and half a glass of water on the bedside table. Han Zhifan knew the medicine was antidepressants.

Han Zhifan’s fingers instinctively trembled and he stared at Cheng Weiwan in a daze.

During this time, scene after scene of what unfolded seemed like a curse, endlessly running in his mind.

The picture of her taking antidepressants; the picture of her repeatedly washing her hands in the bathroom; and the picture of her crouched under the tree, crying…

The more Han Zhifan thought about it, the more stifled his chest felt. Eventually, it seemed like he couldn’t take it anymore as he quickly walked into the changing room, got changed, and left the villa in the middle of the night.

Han Zhifan drove on the empty roads of Beijing deep into the night. The car flew by for what seemed like an eternity then he suddenly hit the brakes and stopped by the road.

He fled her side, but after he stopped the car, pictures of her still drifted into his mind.

Han Zhifan lit his cigarette in a hurry as he wanted to use the nicotine to relieve him from his thoughts.

But as he smoked and smoked his cigarette, the housekeeper’s words back at home in the afternoon drifted into his ears…

Chapter 994: Hug (9)

Han Zhifan went to the office early in the morning.

He opened his laptop in hopes of getting his mind off things and focusing on work, but he stared at the wall of text on the laptop screen for a long time without reading a single word.

At eight, the secretary reminded him he had an early morning meeting.

He wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t slept all night or what, but as he sat in the meeting room of company employees talking non-stop for an hour, he didn’t take in a single word.

After the meeting was over, he walked back to the office. Han Zhifan drank a cup of coffee and felt a little more comfortable albeit with much difficulty. He opened a file, wanting to give it a read, but he ended up barely reading two pages before slamming the file on the table. Then he angrily ruffled his hair, grabbed the landline, and gave his house a call.

The person who picked up the call was the housekeeper.

He actually wanted to ask how Cheng Weiwan was. But he couldn’t manage to get the words out. In the end, all he said was, “How are things at home?”

When did Han Zhifan ever call home to ask how things are? The housekeeper was stunned for a long while before she replied, “Pretty good.”

“Are things truly pretty good? Is everything fine?”

“Things are truly pretty good. Everything’s fine.”

“Oh,” responded Han Zhifan. After a while, he hung up the phone.

Han Zhifan simply couldn’t get into a working state of mind, so he leaned back into his chair as he let his mind wander.

With much difficulty, he stayed like that until noon. Han Zhifan called home again.

He said the same thing and the housekeeper gave the same answer.

However, he felt uncomfortable. After he put down the phone, he hesitated a while and picked it back up again.

This time, his call wasn’t to his house. Instead, it was a call to Lin Sheng.

Lin Sheng quickly picked up the call, but Han Zhifan didn’t wait for him to speak before blurting out, “Come to my office.”

Lin Sheng thought Han Zhifan had urgent business, so he came over quickly.

After Han Zhifan signaled for him to sit down, he wasn’t in a hurry to speak.

Lin Sheng couldn’t help questioning Han Zhifan on why he called him out. Finally, Han Zhifan cried, “Go abroad and help me pick up a doctor to take back to China.”

“That’s it?” Lin Sheng instinctively asked in return after he heard this.

Han Zhifan shook his head as if to say no.

“Is that freaking it?! You told me nothing over the phone! Why did you tell me to come over?” Lin Sheng felt like he was being played.

Han Zhifan didn’t say anything and lit a cigarette.

Lin Sheng saw that he was smoking, prompting his addiction to flare up. He also lit up a cigarette and after two puffs, he asked, “Have you called the doctor? Is it okay to just go see him?”

“Mhm,” responded Han Zhifan absent-mindedly.

“Do you want to get the doctor to treat your son?” asked Lin Sheng.

Han Zhifan shook his head. Then after a few seconds, he said, “It’s a psychiatrist.”

“A psychiatrist?” Lin Sheng pondered as he spoke frankly. “Your son got a mental illness too?…”

Lin Sheng hadn’t finished speaking as a flash of ferocity crossed Han Zhifan’s gaze.

Lin Sheng instinctively stopped talking.

After a while, Lin Sheng couldn’t help but curiously ask, “If it’s not to treat your son, who’s it for?”

Han Zhifan seemed to not be bothered with Lin Sheng and didn’t say anything.

“It’s definitely not a problem with you…” Han Zhifan didn’t say and Lin Sheng didn’t mind, so he started to guess. “…For you to ask an overseas doctor to come here, it definitely can’t be an ordinary person. That person must have some deeper connection with you… deeper connection…”

Chapter 995: Hug (10)

Lin Cheng repeated those two words, “deep connection,” several times. Then he suddenly remembered how Han Zhifan had frequently been interacting with Cheng Weiwan lately.

All of a sudden, it looked like something had clicked for him. He raised his head and looked over at Han Zhifan. “Is it her?”

Even though Lin Sheng didn’t say a name, Han Zhifan knew who he was referring to. His fingers couldn’t help but tremble.

All his subtle movements fell into Lin Sheng’s line of sight.

Lin Sheng knew he had guessed right. “It really is her.”

“She has depression? Or some other mental illness?”

“Does it have anything to do with you?”

“By this, you want to help her get well?”

Lin Sheng asked quite a few questions, but Han Zhifan only quietly smoked his cigarette without reacting at all.

Lin Sheng also stopped and didn’t say anything.

Silence enveloped the office.

After an unknown amount of time, Lin Sheng fiercely took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled. Then he stared at Han Zhifan and cried, “Why do you want to help her?”

Han Zhifan still didn’t say anything.

Lin Sheng didn’t wait for him to speak up. The next second, he asked, “You’re interested in her, aren’t you?”

Interested in her?

Without a second thought, Han Zhifan replied, “What the hell are you talking about? How could I be interested in her?”

“What the hell am I talking about?” Lin Sheng exhaled again. “I should’ve figured out ages ago! I’m so slow! I should’ve known after you reunited with her ages ago, found out she gave birth to your son and made me investigate Lin Muqing’s slip-ups. Then you forced her to give her son over to you. A while back, you ended up letting her see your son!”

“Look at how you not only let her watch over your son in the hospital, but you actually let her stay at your house too! Now that you know she’s ill, you actually want to help cure her… If that doesn’t mean you’re interested in her, what does?”

“I told you! I can’t possibly be interested in her! It’s impossible!” Han Zhifan was a little angry now as his voice became a little anxious.

“You said it’s impossible, but is it really impossible? Think about it! Two years ago, how did you treat her? Back then, you were ruthless and merciless! I asked you time and time again if you were really going to put your hands on her, and I repeatedly told you that the person who committed the crime was her father. Not her! She’s innocent. Yet, you didn’t listen. You insisted on taking her down and you said you were going to give Cheng Weiguo’s precious, one and only daughter, a life worse than death. This was the biggest form of revenge against Cheng Weiguo!”

“Yes, you did it! I helped you gather people to set up a whole ‘hero saves the damsel in distress’ act for you. After she found out the truth, you mercilessly pushed her away and you even told her to abort your child!”

“But look at you now! Are you still the same ‘you’ from before?”

“If you really don’t like her, why would you get a doctor from so far away just to help her?”

“How many f*cking times do you want me to say it? I told you! ‘I don’t like her’ means I don’t like her!” Han Zhifan sudden;y grabbed the ashtray and hurled it at Lin Sheng.

“If you don’t like her, why are you so agitated? Do you dare say you’re not feeling guilty right now? Don’t think I don’t know what you’re thinking! You’re afraid. You’re afraid to love her and afraid you’ll fall for the daughter of the culprit behind your sister’s death!” Lin Sheng had always been temperamental. Now, seeing Han Zhifan throwing an ashtray at him, he was even harsher with his words!

Chapter 996: Hug (11)

“I already f*cking said I don’t!” Han Zhifan got so angry that his whole body started sweating. With an angry look that he simply couldn’t hide, he roared at Lin Sheng as he raised his hand and swept things from the office desk onto the floor.

Lin Sheng turned a blind eye and deaf ear to everything in front of him and continued to roar at Han Zhifan with all his strength to finish what he was saying. “Not only are you afraid of yourself, but you’re also afraid other people can tell you like her, so you torture her at all costs! Don’t think I don’t know you felt guilty back then and had feelings for her!”

“Get out!” interrupted Han Zhifan furiously as he slammed the desk and pointed at the door.

Lin Sheng sat motionlessly on the sofa. “If you don’t feel guilty and you don’t have feelings for her, why were you not intimate with the women I introduced to you in front of everybody? I know you secretly didn’t lay a single finger on those women!”

“I told you to f*cking get out! Ya hear me? Get out!” Han Zhifan saw that Lin Sheng wasn’t walking away, so he shot up from his office chair and strode over to Lin Sheng.

“Not only do I know you didn’t touch those women, but I’ve seen your dull eyes lighting up when you bump into children looking at you on the streets!” Just as Lin Sheng said this, Han Zhifan jumped on him and grabbed his collar. Then he landed a hard punch on his face.

In pain, Lin Sheng suddenly stopped talking.

After about two seconds, Lin Sheng raised his hand and touched the side of his face which got hit. Then in frustration, Lin Sheng smirked. “You think about your own kid when you see other people’s kids, don’t you?”

Han Zhifan’s angry eyes turned red as he faced Lin Sheng’s question. He mercilessly raised his arm and repeatedly punched his face until he had no strength left in him and came to a stop. He heaved heavily and was as stubborn as an unmoving rock as he spoke. “I’ll say it one more time. I don’t. I have never liked her and I don’t care about the child she gave birth to. I only let the child stay by my side because I want her to experience a life worse than death!”

“She’s already living a life worse than death, isn’t she? Since you want her to live a life worse than death, why would you ask me to go all the way abroad to help bring a doctor back?” Lin Sheng hit the nail on the head with his question.

Han Zhifan felt speechlessly suffocated.

His pupils dilated and constricted non-stop. The harder he clutched Lin Sheng’s collar, the more stifled he felt. In the end, all he could do was push out a sentence. “Get out!”

With that said, he clutched Lin Sheng’s collar and dragged him from the sofa to the door.

Lin Sheng didn’t fight back, but he stared at Han Zhifan like a wild beast and scoffed.

“Did you think you could hide the truth by lying to yourself? Do you believe you’re forcing her to live a life worse than death? You’re wrong. You’re forcing yourself to live a life worse than death!”

“Do you think I’m speaking on her behalf? Let me tell you, Han Zhifan! I’m just thinking on your behalf! I’m worried about you – worried that you’ve actually taken a dark path! I’m worried that in the end, you won’t get revenge, but you’ll end up making yourself suffer!”

Chapter 997: Hug (12)

“Lili’s not here anymore. I understand you’re hurting. I’m also hurting. I have no thoughts on how to defeat Cheng Weiguo, but this time, I’m not on your side because I’m afraid you’ll regret your decision for life!”

“Most importantly, I believe Lili definitely doesn’t want to see you turn into this because of her!”

In the face of what Lin Sheng Said, Han Zhifan didn’t say another word but he picked up the pace.

After he walked over to the door of his office and pulled it open without a care for whether Lin Sheng was done speaking or if the managers on the other side of the door were watching him. Then he chucked Lin Sheng out without so much as a glance and ruthlessly slammed the door shut.

Lin Sheng’s words lit a flame in his chest which burned with a particular fury.

He walked in circles around the office, but there were no signs of the flame being extinguished. He raised his leg and kicked over the floor lamp beside him. Then he flipped over the coffee table and smashed all the glasses on the countertop.

As the crashing sounds of glass rang out, Han Zhifan gradually calmed down.

After he stopped, the office no longer looked the same as it did; it was a complete mess everywhere.

He wasn’t bothered with it and walked over to the office desk like he was exhausted. He slumped into the office chair and lit up a cigarette.

As silence entered the office, his gaze was empty for a while through the cloud of smoke. Then he reached out, pulled open the drawer beside him, and pulled out a photo album.

It was filled with Lili’s photos.

The photos spanned from since she was little until the year of her death.

Han Zhifan flipped through it, page after page. With each photo, he remembered how Lili looked back then.

At three years old, Lili waddled behind him, crying “Big bro.”

At five years old, Lili reached her arms out to him when she was tired from walking, wanting to be carried.

At eight years old, he helped her fight the bullies at school.

At nine years old, he had a stomachache all night and she stayed up taking care of him. When he woke up, her eyes were red and swollen from crying. She grabbed his hand and said, “Big brother, don’t leave Lili behind. Lili gets scared.”

At thirteen years old, Lili cooked him a table full of dishes after he came back from school. Even though it tasted awful, he pretended it was delicious and finished the food. Lili was very happy that day. After he finished dinner, she mysteriously gave him a gift. Later, he learned Lili used the rest of her pocket money to buy it for him.

At fifteen, Lili looked very beautiful. At the time, he was going to a prestigious school and leaving her alone in Beijing. After their parents passed, they’d been taking care of each other and never parted ways. To her, he was the talented older brother who she proudly complimented. However, he caught her secretly crying a few times over having to part ways.

At sixteen, Lili got her ID. On his birthday, she didn’t even give him a heads up and took the train to his university just to surprise him.

At seventeen, Lili was the most beautiful girl in school. He knew there were many, many guys after her, but he told her not to get into a relationship when she was young. She obediently promised her older brother and said, “By the time big brother lets me date, I’ll be dating at an appropriate age.”

At eighteen years old, Lili called him late at night once, crying like crazy. Han Zhifan, who was abroad at the time, didn’t know what happened, but he believed her when she told him she was very stressed at school.

Chapter 998: Hug

Before he came back to China, he told a lot of jokes to her over the phone. She laughed happily and he even said he was going to give her many, many gifts after he was back.

At the time, he was an international student who wasn’t coming back to China for half a year.

He hadn’t seen Lili for a really long time and he missed the only relative he had in this world. After he entered this prestigious college, he put down his belongings then rushed overnight to Beijing with the carefully picked gift he bought overseas for her.

He couldn’t find her at her place nor at the school. She didn’t pick up his calls.

Early the next morning, he went back to the school where her classmate told him she hadn’t come to school for three days now.

At the time, he knew the situation was big. The first thing he did was call Lin Sheng then he went to the police station to report her disappearance.

That was the most grueling moment of his life. He couldn’t eat or sit still. He followed up on it with Lin Sheng and the police station every minute.

In the end, he found out where Lili was. Lin Sheng wasn’t the one who told him nor the police station. Instead, it was a call from an unknown number.

After he took the call, he then found out it was the hospital.

The person who called him was a female nurse. Over the phone, she sounded a little fuzzy and all she asked was if he was a relative of Han Zhili and if he could make it to the hospital.

At the time, he was so scared. He thought Lili could’ve possibly gotten sick. On his way there, he wouldn’t stop comforting himself by saying that medicine was so advanced nowadays and he had money, so no matter what illness Lili caught, he would do his best to cure her.

But when he reached the hospital, the nurse who called him escorted him to the operating room of the maternity ward.

Lili was only eighteen years old and had only just become a legal adult. How could she possibly be in the maternity ward?

H e didn’t dare ask. In fact, he didn’t even dare go.

He was like a puppet as he followed the nurse into the operating room.

He finally saw Lili.

But his Lili wasn’t breathing.

The Lili who loved to smile, was pale white, lying on the operating table. Her eyes were shut and she was motionless.

H e thought she was sleeping, so he quietly called her name like when they were young. He thought she would quickly open her eyes, pout like she was wronged and cry. Then when she clearly saw his face, she would immediately stop crying. She would smile and say, “Big brother.”

He called for her repeatedly, but she didn’t respond.

The hospital tried to save her, but in the end, they weren’t successful. The cut in her abdomen had just been stitched, and they hadn’t had time to clean up the bloodstains.

He wasn’t willing to believe everything the doctor told him.

Lili was so good and smart. She would’ve told him immediately if anything happened. She couldn’t have possibly dated someone at such a young age and gotten pregnant.

At the time, if it wasn’t for Lin Sheng, he figured he might not have even been able to give Lili a proper burial.

He only accepted Lili’s death two months after it happened, when he stepped into Lili’s room.

Lili hid the gifts he got her in the cabinet of her changing room. Her pretty clothes were still neatly hung in the wardrobe. Her favorite knitted toy, her piano, and even her English books were on her desk… Frame by frame, things looked exactly the same as when she was still on this earth.

But he knew Lili would never come back.

That day, he hid in Lili’s room and cried like an idiot.

That was the first time he cried after Lili passed away.

He cried for a really, really long time. After he stopped, he started to tidy up Lili’s belongings. Then under Lili’s pillow, he discovered a diary.

Chapter 999: Hug

Lili’s diary carefully detailed the events from when Cheng Weiguo drugged and raped her till when Cheng Weiguo blackmailed her with those videos if she ever dared to go public with the truth. Thereafter, Cheng Weiguo used those videos time and time again to force her to submit to him.

The diary mentioned how she entered the darkest nightmare of her life and she couldn’t escape even though she wanted to.

She even mentioned Han Zhifan in the diary. She said she really wanted to tell her big brother these things, but she was afraid that if the video came out, he would do something to break the law.

Not just once, she asked in the diary how she was going to make this nightmare end, how she was going to live the rest of her life, if she could still have a beautiful romance, and if her future husband would look down on her.

About two months ago, she realized she was pregnant. In her diary, she endlessly asked what she should do. She said she asked the hospital to abort the child, but because it was too late in the pregnancy, it wouldn’t be an easy operation. She said she didn’t dare give birth to the baby and she didn’t want the demon child because she felt she and the child were dirty. In the last two entries of her diary, she mentioned many times how she didn’t want to live in this world…

Even though this incident happened a really long time ago, Han Zhifan’s body couldn’t help but gently tremble when he thought back to it again.

He protected Lili since she was little and she practically hadn’t seen the dark side of society.

She must’ve been very scared when she met Cheng Weiguo. He knew she wasn’t very brave, so she must’ve had nightmares every night during that time. She definitely hugged her comforter and secretly cried in the night.

At the time, she must’ve felt helpless and hopeless, right?

When he was abroad and received a call from her crying in the middle of the night, that was when she found out she was pregnant, right?

How could he be tricked by her and believe that it was stress from school? If he had returned to China, everything would’ve changed and his little sister wouldn’t have left him…

Also, she was stupid. How could she have not told him about these things? He could’ve protected her…

When he got sick in the past, thirteen year old Lili watched over him all night. When he woke up, she said, “Big brother, don’t leave me,” and he said, “I won’t ever leave you.” But, in the end, what happened? He didn’t leave her, but she left him first… His pretty and intelligent little sister was killed just like that by Cheng Weiguo. How could he not hate him? How could he not hate him?!

He was unable to legally convict him, so all he could do was use despicable methods to take revenge on him!

So everything Lin Sheng said was wrong. He wasn’t in love with Cheng Weiwan. He hated her!

With that thought, Han Zhifan pursed his lips.

He looked at Lili smiling in the photo, and he repeatedly told himself he wouldn’t like her, he wouldn’t like her, he definitely wouldn’t like her…

The things Lin Sheng said at the office made Han Zhifan not return to his villa for the next few days.

In the blink of an eye, it was the day before Cheng Han’s operation.

Han Zhifan finished his work and glanced at the time. It was already two in the morning. Unable to sleep no matter what, he randomly drove on the main road until he turned into the gates of his villa without noticing it.