Day 51

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Monday arrived this week as well.

There is a continuous debate over whether Monday or Sunday is the start of the week, but who cares about that. Either way, when the week starts, Monday will come anyway.

「Let’s return back to the standards, senpai.」

When we got on the train and settled ourselves in our usual place, Kouhai-chan said that.

「Uhn.」

I rubbed my sleepy eyes and tried to pull out my consciousness that hadn’t awakened fully yet.

「Uh, eh?」

I woke up now. Yes. I woke up completely.

「What are you saying?」

「I said, let’s return back to the standards, senpai.」

「What do you even mean with standards anyway?」

Kouhai-chan grins, as if she has been waiting for me to ask that.

「Don’t you realize, senpai?」

Kouhai-chan looks at me as if she is somewhat bragging, and asks so.

「Yesterday, we reached the 50th『today’s question.』」

「We already reached that many?」

She started talking to me in the middle of September, and now it’s already November. Less than two months had passed, so passing fifty days certainly sounded valid.

「It’s our 50th question anniversary, senpai!」

「Ahh.」

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Right. Fifty days have passed, huh.

No, to be exact, it’s fifty two days, right? We didn’t ask anything at the first weekend since we still haven’t exchanged LINE at that time.

Senpai, who looked like he is considering something, suddenly asked a question as if he just thought of it.

「By the way, why are you able to know exactly the number of days?」

At that moment, my mind became completely blank.

No, I didn’t expect him to ask that. It was just supposed to be an introduction talk. Why did you become this sharp just at this kind of moment, senpai?

「…No way. I won’t say it.」

I felt like it would be unfair for me to lie and get over it. However, it was a different matter altogether to answer him honestly just like that, and what I can do is just take some more time.

I don’t know if senpai just doesn’t know what I’m feeling or pretending not to understand on purpose―no, it’s definitely the latter. He is grinning―and he fires the final blow towards me.

「That’s my『today’s question』, Kouhai-chan.」

「Ah, really… Yes. I’ll confess.」

「What, is it something serious?」

「No, er…」

Ah, this is embarrassing. I never told anyone. Maybe, even my parents never found out about it.

「I have a diary.」

It’s a simple diary. I wrote what happened on that day, just that.

There are so many applications in the smartphone that are specifically used as a diary, but I write mine in a notebook. Filled with motivation, I bought a new notebook, wrote the title, and put it in my desk drawer secretly.

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Since she was pretty embarassed (her cute face was completely red), I thought it would be something serious, but it seemed like she was writing a diary.

I think it’s a good thing. Human brain’s capacity is terribly bad, and our memory (or “recorder” in that sense) quickly becomes dim, blurred, and someday, it would be forgotten. Therefore, I personally think it’s wonderful to leave the events of the day, thoughts, and feelings in something that has some sort of form, like sentences.

But even though I think it’s a good thing,
I can’t do it because I don’t have enough motivation to write it everyday.

「Hee, since when?」

That’s why, I continued asking her questions without any bad intention, really.

It’s amazing if she has been doing it since elementary school, since it means it’s already became her habit. But even if she started doing it after being motivated on starting her high school life, I think it’s such a great dedication as well.

「Since September 14.」

She sure remembers the exact date, huh, or so I thought.

It’s quite recent. Not even two months have passed yet.

And then, I noticed something strange.

「Nn?」

I felt like we talked about something hasn’t passed two months just a little while ago.

If I’m not wrong, what is it? Right. It’s about the amount of Kouhai-chan’s questions has exceeded fifty questions.

「That’s right. I started writing a diary from the day I first talked to senpai! Is it bad!」

Ahh.

It’s connected.

「Well, isn’t it fine?」

「What’s with that brushing off attitude, senpai…」

「It’s your personal freedom to write a diary anyway.」

「That’s not the problem… Haa. Really, it’s fine already.」

So she wanted to write a diary because of a reason. Specifically, it was after having a conversation with me. Isn’t that good as well?

「Anyway, diary, huh.」

「What is it, senpai? Are you going to pry on it?」

「Is it handwritten? Or on your smartphone?」

「It’s handwritten.」

Uwah. How authentic.

「Anyway, it’s unfair to just keep questioning me alone. Senpai, here’s my『today’s question』. Did senpai ever write a diary before?」

She suddenly changed into the attacking position.

「I used to write them in the past」

「In the past?」

「When I was in elementary school.」

When I was still a first grader, my teacher told us to write a diary. With that, everyone in the class started to write it.

By the time I entered the second grade, there were only half of my classmates who still wrote their diaries properly, since the others thought it was troublesome.

In addition, the number of people who wrote diaries gradually decreases as the year passed by. I was the only one who kept writing the diary until the day of graduation.

What did writing a diary even mean?

I thought so with my young mind. And so, when I graduated, I stopped writing diaries.

「Hee, so even senpai has that kind of past, huh.」

「I do think that it would be better if I continued writing them until now, though.」

「Please let me read them next time.」

「Eh, no way. It won’t even form a coherent sentence, since I wrote it when I was an elementary student.」

「I want to see senpai’s younger days letters.」

「No, no.」

「Please show it to me next time I visit your house, senpai.」

「Er…」

「It’s a promise, alright?」

「I said I won’t.」

She is looking at me intently with her eyes sparkling, but I won’t get carried away with that.

「Come on, senpai.」

I suddenly came up with a good condition.

「I will consider if you are willing to exchange it with your diary.」

「Eh? Really?」

Kouhai-chan’s smile bloomed for a second, but it immediately wilted the next moment.

「Ah, but it means I have to show mine, huh…」

「Of course.」

Actually, I’m also a little curious about what Kouhai-chan wrote.

「Uu… Young senpai’s writing… is attractive, but…」

As I watched Kouhai-chan’s conflicted and agonized state, the train arrived at the nearest station of the school.